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how to bury your past

by CHECKMATE

supported by
Sully
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Sully I love you guys so much my blood types O+ if y’all ever need a transplant hmu id literally give u my leg if u needed it lls
but for real your work is so amazing and I’m glad I found you guys and you guys came a long way please never stop creating 🖤 Favorite track: Optimism (Acoustic).
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1.
I'm falling out of myself destroying my mental health i'll never leave my bed again. or become the person that i want to be or see the places that i want to travel to ill roam the world unravel my plans destroy the world. just to see what follows. because maybe the people i meet in the next life wont be so god damned hollow and i wont have to hide the way that i feel about strangers that cant see my face in the dark. And the scars on my arm are starting to heal again and the weight of the world is off my shoulders. and those thoughts inside my head are not as appealing, as they were all those nights before.
2.
Get out of bed, hide from this weather. I know you'll say that I'm lying if i tell u I'm getting better. saying I'll be alright, thinking ill be just fine. I'm drifting closer to shore you wont believe me anymore. I know your not thinking about me that's alright I'm just hoping I will be able to sleep tonight I'm breaking down yes I'm falling apart cuz' this pains in my chest not my head or my heart. and I have felt this low before. Its familiar and warm i feel at home here. I'll draw the blinds, ill step outside my mind, I've spent far too long inside I'll think of better ways to spend my time and I'm pacing the hallways of this basement and its far too cold that i cant stay here.I know your not thinking about me that's alright I'm just hoping I will be able to sleep tonight im breaking down yes I'm falling apart cuz' this pains in my chest not my head or my heart. and I have felt this low before. Its familiar and warm i feel at home here. I feel at home here.I feel at home here, ill probably die here, god i feel home here. I am alone here in my head and ill never stop yelling til im dead god i feel home here, gode i feel home here.
3.
I haven't been taking my medicine or waking up on time to go outside and clear my mind of all the things that lie inside I'm feeling scared I'm afraid and unprepared for all the things in the world that are gonna tear me down. It'll be okay, I'm feeling brighter. It'll be okay, I'm feeling brighter
4.
contemplating self immolation seeking relief from this frustration I get. from living on this earth from dying on this planet I think I'm fucking cursed I'm a creature of these habits and I'm so tired of the bullshit that I put up with every single day. I'm looking for an option a soft and cheap escape. And I know it feels like you've lost me it feels live I've run away. but now my body's in the ground so watch as i rapidly decay

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released April 7, 2017

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CHECKMATE Waldorf, Maryland

emo/alt rock band
based in Waldorf, MD.

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